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Tuesday, November 29, 2011


There is no "quick fix".
No "instant remedy".

You will not be able to suddenly drop in one week the abuse you've placed on your body over the years.
You cannot "get ripped" with one lean meal, or one hardcore workout.

When it comes to fitness- meal after meal, after workout after workout, after days and weeks

 of making good decisions is the ONLY wany to achieve results.

When it comes to fitness- HARD WORK & DEDICATION are the only two ingredients you NEED!
 from Allison Moyer

'Tis the Season...


I know you are thinking it is the holiday season, tomorrow is the first of December.  Studies show that half of all those polled experienced heightened stress  during the holidays. Perhaps one of the best ways to overcome stress during the holidays or any other time is to exercise regularly. Research shows that physical activity not only boosts your fitness and energy levels but can also elevate your moods.

Remember to keep exercise as a part of your daily routine. Try to exercise an hour a day, four to five days per week.Taking a brisk walk, bike ride, or exercise class will burn calories, release endorphins, and elevate your mood. Do something that you LOVE! If you love indoor cycle, don't miss your favorite classes this month...your instructor will thank you! Did you know that you are less likely to overeat when you exercise. Be extra sure to stay active EVERY day. Enjoy your holiday season without the stress of falling off track. You will feel so much better, you will have energy and you will SHINE!
Can't wait to see you bring it every up and show OUT

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Pink RockStar...Dear God...

Dear God I want to take a minute, not to ask for anything from you, 
simply to say thank you for all I have.
hi friends and family,
Thanksgiving weekend was wonderful for many reasons. We feel that we have so much to be thankful for. Me health and my family and my close friends who have continued to step up and support us.
The big scare is over, but, what is left behind is still the scars of what we have been through in the last three months, and the pain of reconstruction. It is hard to describe this place...I know that the cancer is gone, I know that I am in the healing phase, I know that I should be exhaling and jumping for joy. I can't yet. I look in the mirror and I am reminded every day of what my body has been through. The scars and the places that still won't heal...I am frustrated at the not healing, but, I know it won't be forever. I do have my appetite back...great, just in time for Thanksgiving! I am going to have to really focus on my nutrition, the chicken is on the counter waiting to be grilled. Going to the grocery store to stock up on green stuff. I did get a DELISH salad from a friend that had kale in it, I think I am going to chop up some tonight from the week. 
Those that still show up are the ones that have made the difference for me personally. I love you for it.
This weekend, I was able to be with family that I love dearly, got scolded by Aunt Fran for doing too much.
(it made me smile, because I love her so!)
I got my Christmas tree..we will decorate it today. It is a little early, but, I think it will be a fun distraction. I was able to see old friends, who brought an angel of a little girl to brighten my day! I was able to teach a step risers, didn't use my arms, and it was FUN! I was able to welcome back to Greenville a family that we love very twins and all.
I went to the Plastic Surgeon Tuesday for my weekly visit. The stitches appear to be healing well. I laugh and call my boobs those from the Bride of Frankenstein...stitches and zigzags. There are still some issues with healing, and I am worried about needing more cutting and stitching. I will find out on Tuesday. I did get an expansion on Tuesday, which is fun and makes me hurt all at the same time! I am not quite sure about these large 'boobies!' They really are tight, sore, get muscle spasms and are not very pretty. Sleeping is hard, Chan told me I wimper all night in my sleep. I think it hurts when I move or roll over.
my superhero...
some really happy things for me...
taught my first 1 hour spin class...oh joy! I was so happy to do it, really focused on using my legs, not arms, was able to pull it off without teaching off the bike much!
taught my first step was JOYFUL to be able to move and it really didn't hurt at all...I did need a big nap that afternoon, but, it was worth it.
I get to take a nap everyday without having to be sorry or apologetic.
I am supposed to see our medical oncologist next week, we will talk about post surgery care and treatment.
I hope that your long weekend was wonderful and know that we love all of you...your love and support is so appreciated.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Pink RockStar...present and dealing

‎"There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself." -Anthon
y Rapp

My 9 year old drew this, I am Lisl the Cancer fighter....shooting bullets
at 'Evil Cancer'. He drew this when we were out to dinner one night
about a week before the Mastectomy.

My little girl who is 7 drew this. I am the angel floating up in the sky.

Someone said to me yesterday at the gym, "wow. you are back! you look so wonderful!"
I thought, to myself, "I am not back, I am just present."
I still feel really numb and a little shell shocked at what has happened. I am very emotional, sad, horrified even sometimes.
I had my weekly visit on Tuesday with Dr. Keller, my doctor in charge of reconstruction. He isn't happy with the way two of the surgery wounds are healing. So, on Friday I have to go in for an outpatient procedure where he will try to make those places heal better and hopefully look better. The skin is super thin and it has been stretched. It's not really cooperating, so, I am happy he is dong something about it. My heart skips every time I look down. The expanders are lumpy, misshapen, and hard. They are not very comfortable, and when people hug me, I know they feel hard. I am very self conscious about the way it looks and I get embarrassed when people say, "wow, look at your big old boobies". I really liked the ones I used to have, so, this isn't like an in improvement.

I have tried to go to the gym and workout. I can do the elliptical and I can ride the spin bike. I sweat alot, which is good and feels like I am working hard. Most importantly, I see the faces that are familiar to me and I speak to my friends and that is the best therapy of all. 

My HUGE array of medicine is down to nothing, thank goodness, no more pain meds for now, no more prednisone, no more antibiotics. They are all replaced with gauze, saline, triple antibiotic, bandages and big square bandaids. I have to change the dressings twice a day.
My little girls is funny, she likes to help. Every night she follows me upstairs, watches what I do, cuts the gauze to fit and gently puts on the bandaids. I see her being very motherly and it warms me and breaks my heart at the same time. Yesterday afternoon, I was especially tired and had an awful headache (most likely from coming off the prednisone) and she said in a very motherly tone, "Mommy, when I finish my homework, lets go upstairs and get in the big bed. I will hold you, we can cuddle, I will read you a story and I will stroke your cheek." It sounded just like something I would say to her.
Tomorrow I have a follow up with the Surgical Oncologist. I know they will be doing labwork.
Thank you all for the wonderful notes I still get, thank you my friend Julie for bringing me the yummiest salad yesterday, thank you to mom who is coming Friday to take care of me and thank you to all of you who continue to show up, even though it's inconvenient or you are busy or you really need to be cooking and cleaning and carrying on with your own stuff...this has meant the world to Big Daddy and I.
still have the 'deer in the
headlights' look....
oh, and to my sister in law, I broke down and fed the kids a dang Chicken Casserole from the freezer.

This is about 2 weeks post surgery, tubes still in, and bandages covering the
Having an allergic reaction to some meds...
most likely the antibiotic. Spent three
days in the hospital.
It amuses me to play with the
implants in the Drs office!


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